Today was my 14 weeks prenatal appointment! The last appointment a month ago was all exciting because it was the first and we had an ultrasound. Robb and I went together and it was wonderful! This appointment wasm much more low key. We had no idea what this appointment would entail so we decided that I would go alone. This was a rather quick appointment. The office was just checking my weight and listening to the baby's heart. So I think my time with the doctor was only suppose to be about 5 minutes.
The excitement was I did hear the baby's heart beat for the first time! 157bpm the doctor said was a good rate. It was a shock really to hear that little thump thump thump. At the time I wasn't emotional but now thinking about it I start to tear up.
After the amazing heart beat, I had a list of questions for my doctor. H1N1 vaccine, maternity leave, traveling, birth plan, etc. I wasn't super happy with all the answers that I got. Up until this point I had been floating on a pregnancy/birthing cloud where everything I wanted was going to happen. Today I hit the hard reality that the medical world thinks that 6 weeks is all that is medically necessary for recovering from birth. However, if you can afford the government does allow an unpaid 6 weeks off on top of that. So my idea of having 12 weeks of paid maternity leave that would run into the end of school and Robb would keep the baby until August is probably not going to happen or will need to be modified a bit.
Also I've been doing a lot of research into natural birth. Going over my birth plan with my doctor, I do not feel the hospital is going to be open to some of the birthing positions I have been researching. Also at this point I already feel the doctor mode setting in of sure you can do what you want but in a pinch we (the doctor) are going to do what is "normal" and "best" as we see it. Making me believe for the next 6 months that I can have the birth I want but when that day comes everything that we talked about will be thrown out the window.
This appointment also confirmed a lot of the things I had been thinking. I am a patient that wants to be informed and be active in my pregnancy and birth. Most women do not educate themselves or have the ability to understand the things that are going on and doctors use that to their advantage. My doctor admitted that since I am someone that is educated and cares they will have to take a lot more time to talk to Robb and I and inform us of our options. When most patients would be told what is "best" and that is what is done, or even times they aren't even told and things are just done to them. I feel I need to work on my trust of the medical community in regards to the birthing process.
All in all it is a happy day because we have a health baby and I feel good!
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Joanna,
ReplyDeleteJust a few thoughts; your concerns are the number one reason I chose a midwife over an OB because they allow you to make the decisions about your labor, delivery, and some prenatal care. It's not just about "we do this because everyone else does and this is best and normal". I think it's important that you are educating yourself and think it's important that you get the care, delivery, and labor you WANT! If not, I would encourage you to switch practitioners so that you aren't disapointed or upset. You are the patient and you have the right to make decisions that you want.
Regarding maternity leave, yes, it may only take 6 weeks to medically recover, but there is a lot more to it such as emotional recovery and sleep recovery. I will be super impressed if you go back to work after 6 weeks. I plan to take the full 12 weeks because I just want to be home with the baby, adjust to breastfeeding and get the baby on a solid schedule. :) Love you!
I don't think that Joanna was saying she doesn't WANT to take more than six weeks maternity leave - I think the issue she raises is that anything beyond six weeks would be unpaid, which is basically penalizing women (including Joanna) for having a child and/or taking the proper recovery time. Her employer and OB aren't factoring in sleep recovery or emotional recovery, which you're right to point out. I'm sure most mothers would want the luxury of taking a full 12 weeks (or longer, because who are we kidding, 12 weeks is nothing) to be with the baby and adjust to feeding and scheduling. Going back after six weeks should impress you as long as you acknowledge it not as a choice but as something she may be forced to do.
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